2nd 1st day...

Going back to school.

On the surface, one would think this moment would've been one of the lighter or "easier" things we've done in the last 6 weeks.

It was not...

Taking steps back into "normal" life after your life has been completely flipped upside down is harder than we anticipated it would be. Cooper is both the same kid he was before and completely different at the same time.

We planned on Cooper going to school today for just one hour. He wanted to go when everyone else was going in the classroom. He is not one who likes to "disrupt" or draw unnecessary attention to himself. He tried to get out of it saying, "Mom, I'll go back to school next week and when next week comes I'll tell you I'll go back to school the week after that." 😂 We need to teach that boy how to negotiate better!

We knew we needed to just rip the band-aid off and let him experience it to understand it's not as scary as his mind was making it out to be. Understandably, he was nervous about what people would think about his bald head, not sure if he could actually wear a hat all day, didn't know if people would treat him "different" and so on...

The morning came and conveniently Cooper was "super tired" and needed more sleep. We agreed he could sleep in if he would at least go and have lunch with his friends today, just to get him in the building. He proceeded to sleep till 10am and the next two hours was like pulling teeth getting him ready and out the door. I think he asked us 40 million times "do I HAVE to go?" David once again came in clutch to get that boy out of the door. Thank God for dads!

Pulling into the parking lot, the anxiety reached level 10. He was more nervous to go have lunch with his friends at school than he has been about getting surgery or going through chemo! At least, in that moment, that's how it felt.

God is in all the details though. He's been preparing the people for this day, for this moment, for my Cooper.

This school year, one of my closest friends accepted the counselor job at his elementary. She is solid gold, loves Jesus, has the biggest heart, is so patient and God has equipped her to be able to talk and reach kids in such a special way. She knows Cooper on a personal level too! She has led the way in coordinating the school front for us, advocating for Coop and I have felt so confident knowing she will be the person looking out for Cooper at school. God knew SHE needed to have THIS job, THIS year.

In addition, Cooper has such a solid group of friends. If you've been following his story, you KNOW that. All of us mom's thought the school was out of their mind when they put ALL of those little boys in the SAME classroom this school year. We told their teacher, "good luck and bless your heart!" and gave all our little boys a talking to, advising them to not take advantage of this gift! His teacher is phenomenal and has been so amazing for all of them. God knew Cooper needed ALL of his buddies to surround him at school THIS year.

So... in we walk. Tears in Coop's eyes, anxiety filling his body, all he wanted to do was turn around and get out of there. He hid himself behind me, trying to disappear.

We were greeted by the best principal in the district (he's so dang supportive and caring). Then, my friend/school counselor came to the rescue and talked through ideas with him. She offered having lunch in his classroom with just his buddies. Removing the weight of having to face a full lunchroom of people (and the strength of his dad reminding him that this IS happening), made him relax just enough to walk down that hall.

We made it to his classroom.

In walk his friends with big smiles on their faces. A few moments of awkward silence filled the room but it didn't take long until those young boys were laughing, making jokes, talking about sports and just being 9 year old boys. David and I snuck out and let his teacher and counselor lead the way. We left just out of sight of Cooper but close enough to still see him laughing and smiling with his buds.

To our sweet surprise, he kept going! Ended up staying for 2 hours and even participated in some classroom activities!! Walking out of the school he took a deep breath and said, "Mom, that was actually fun. It was good to see all my classmates."

What we thought would take one hour ended up being a full day event but it was perfect. Cooper's experience of his 2nd 1st day of 3rd grade will be remembered with a smile instead of tears.

Bria's 3rd grade teacher came out to share with me how this fox (that Bria made as a gift to her when she was in 3rd grade!) has been the strength for many many students throughout the years when they were having a tough day. 9 year old Bria had written on there "we can do hard things" not knowing that 5 years later that message would circle back around to her 9 year old brother "bestie" (and me!) reminding us that we can do hard things.

Whatever hard thing you are facing today, just remember that you too can do hard things and that God is in all the details orchestrating something so much greater then our minds can fathom. 🧡

Whew... what. a. day.