A horse named Cooper...

We've made it through 3 out of 5 treatments in this phase. I can tell the chemo is getting more intense each time but overall Cooper is still handling it quite well. He may have inherited his father's pain tolerance!

Monday is a big day for us. Please send some extra prayers for our boy that day if you remember! Not only will he have another bump of intensity in the current chemo he's been getting but they are adding in a spinal tap with chemo and another bone marrow aspiration. So this means another round of anesthesia and getting put under. He will also get an echo on his heart so that they can monitor the health of his heart along the way. So, a lot...

Why is this one so important? They want to see a completely negative cancer result in his bone marrow and his spinal fluid. His last one was considered negative because it was the smallest amount that could even be detected but our oncologist wanted to have a completely negative one on record. Which we agree with. Praying for good results!

The "storm" has calmed down just enough where I don't necessarily feel like the waves are crashing over my head and knocking me down every other moment. However, now I can feel how sore all my muscles have been from bracing those impacts. I'm tired. I crave silence, stillness and rest. My body, mind and spirit need space to recover.

One of my biggest concerns from the start of all of has been the mental health of Cooper and my girls. What they are experiencing and going through as kids I know is going to shape them and impact them for the rest of their lives. Cooper is at such a formative age and being forced into so many situations that he doesn't want to be in and doesn't really have a choice in, well it sucks to say the least.

One of my main prayers for him has been that through this journey his heart doesn't go hard and he doesn't build walls that end up keep him from God and others. I so deeply don't want him to bottle up his emotions and thoughts. He deserves to be fully known and loved. To be able to show up however he needs. I want him to feel safe to be who he is. All the thoughts, all the emotions.

One of my very wise and intuitive friends owns some property in the mountains and has a business doing horse therapy. She graciously invited us to spend some time with her horses. She just got a new horse named Cooper (who is 10!), so of course we HAD to go! We finally had a beautiful day so I grabbed Bria early from school and eagerly headed to the mountains.

Bria connects super easy and is confident with horses so that was a no brainer. I was curious to see how Cooper would react.

Pulling up we were greeted by my friends who are just pure light. After our time with the horses, we decided to take a little walk to this beautiful pond. I had no service on my phone and nothing else to do besides be present watching my boy throw rocks into the water.

When so much of my life is focused on DOING sometimes I forget how healing and valuable it is to just BE.

This was one of my favorite moments in the last couple weeks.

It was glorious. I didn't want to leave... Cooper didn't want to leave... Bria could've stayed there all day!

As we drove down the mountain, my service came back. Ding, ding, ding, ding ding, ding..... the notifications went crazy. How much of our energy is sucked from having such instant access to things all the time? I felt the weight right then and I wanted to just turn around and go back.

I asked Cooper what he thought of our time and he said that he really enjoyed "meeting himself". I can forsee the more time we spend up there, the more that statement will become true. We'll definitely be back 🧡

I missed out on a pic of Cooper and Cooper BUT that will just have to come next time!

If you are interested in horse therapy, reach out because I know a couple ladies who are SO gifted with such kind, pure hearts. 🧡🧡