Goodbye 2024

The last day of 2024 was spent at the hospital getting Cooper's chemo treatment. This was a first, he slept through it! Poor boy is SO SO sleepy!! I had packed an overnight bag realizing that we never know what to expect when walking through those doors. Thankfully, we didn't need it and got to go home 3 hours later!

It's now the first day of 2025. Typically, you would see a reel posted by me about all the adventures, trips, sports and successes we had in 2024. I would sit, ponder and smile as I think back on all the memories we've made. Then, I would get out my journal and my vision board for 2025 and start dreaming of what is to come.

Instead, I came home after celebrating Christmas and New Years with my side of the family and went straight to bed. Slept right through the new year and woke up with energy. Not energy to dream but to take down all of our Christmas decorations as soon as possible. Christmas just really sucked this year. I'm done with it. Ready to have my space back.

Tucking in one of my girls tonight I asked if she was sad we took down all our Christmas stuff so quick and she said, "No, it just didn't quite feel right this year."

I think we all felt that.

2025 feels hard to get excited for. We know this entire year our Coop will be fighting his cancer and getting pumped full of toxic chemicals to save his life. At this moment I'm just wishing time would fast forward and 2025 would be over. To be honest, I wish 2026 would just move right on by as well.

And then I get sad and start to grieve again. I get angry at all the things that cancer has already taken away from our family. I shouldn't be wishing these next two years away!!

During these next two years...

Addy will be having her "sweet 16th", getting her drivers license and finishing off her junior and senior year. When this cancer journey is hopefully over she will be leaving the "nest" and heading off to college. I don't want to wish those two years away with her!

During these next two years...

Bria will be headed to high school. She will have her first two seasons of high school basketball and volleyball that she has been working so dang hard for. She will go to her first homecoming, get her drivers license and already be halfway through high school when this is all said and done. I don't want to wish those two years away with her!

During these next two years...

Sadie will be heading into middle school and will become a teenager! Okay, maybe those two years can fast forward, middle school for girls is rough!! KIDDING! (kinda ;)) I don't want to miss out on her dance recitals, basketball games, performances and who knows what else she will get into! These are such formative years for her as she starts to turn from a "little girl" into a teenager. I don't want to wish those two years away with her!

We have these beautiful, incredible girls that are walking this journey with us. These years of their childhood are now going to look quite different too and yet it's the only ones they get.

My prayer for each one of them is that God will use their story of walking alongside their brother fighting cancer to make their hearts soft, launch a passion that has been stirring in their souls, teach them to live in the moment and that every day is a gift. I pray that they will experience God's love in such a real and deep way that it radiates from the depths of them. I pray that these next couple years will end up being so much more rich then they could've imagined. I pray that through walking such a hard path that they will see that they are so much stronger then they realized. I pray that they will learn tools that will help them throughout the rest of their lives to navigate the valley's and hardships that life will throw their way. I pray that they will see how important doing life with others is and they will lean into their people, not build walls. I pray that when they look back on this time they won't view it as "stolen years" but impactful years. I pray that this brings them closer to Jesus and that they KNOW He is always there, right beside them, loving and tender. That it will be His strength that will hold them up moment by moment and they don't have to have it "all together". I pray that they get to witness firsthand a miracle.

Maybe my prayer just became my dream board for 2025?

2025, please be kind...