The Grind...
- brittany9908
- Jan 4
- 2 min read
Needing to remind myself of this daily right now....
We are 10 days away from Cooper's bone marrow aspiration which will let us know how this first phase actually went and how his body responded to the chemo treatments he's received.
Our biggest battle at the moment has been regulating his blood sugars. They are CRAZY high. When I say crazy high, I mean they were higher then their tests actually go to. Yesterday when we were at his appointment he tested >625. They want to see those numbers under 200. In typical Cooper fashion he had to test so high they didn't even have a number for him (that's how he's always been with his height and weight too!).
They were so close to just admitting us to the hospital last night to try to get them under control. From the leukemia standpoint they are most concerned about his risk of infection when his blood sugars are that high.
So they added on another antibiotic (he's not so happy about MORE pills) and now we have to give him 4 insulin shots a day. That means now I have to actually do some shots myself too :( :( :(
We don't have his antibodies test back yet. That will show us for sure if these high blood sugars are purely steroid induced or if he had markers for diabetes and now this triggered him into active diabetes!!
For some reason this lingering news about diabetes feels like it's just pushing me over the edge. I know there are plenty of people who live with diabetes and manage it well. It just feels like adding salt to an open wound right now. We have too many other things to think and worry about and that is lifelong.
I know we will cross that bridge when it comes, I just hate the unknowns and now I get a little PTSD everytime we go in for an appointment wondering what else are we going to have to deal with? I now pack an overnight bag for each appointment just in case they decide they are indeed needing to admit us.
Cancer was bad enough, now we are starting to realize all the side effects of the chemo. It's just A LOT.
Now I am praying that his antibody test comes back NEGATIVE and that his results in 10 days show us that his body responded well to the chemo and we can move on to the next phase and get rid of these steroids that are wreaking havoc on his body.
David's done all the shots so far, he's amazing!! However, I am getting ready to do my first shot all by myself. Wish me luck!! (Yikes!)
Thank you for your continued prayers, encouragement, love and support of us all! I know without a shadow of a doubt I couldn't do this alone. Grateful for you all!
Maybe once we get these blood sugars under control I will have more pics of Coop besides him sleeping :)
I hate uncertainty too, Brittany, but God has shown me about it. First, uncertainty is a constant, but when the stakes are high is when anxiety is also high. Second, uncertainty is the proving ground for our faith. Third, that proving ground is where the awesomeness of the Lord God ALWAYS shows up. Just like the hugs and kisses you give your kids that ALWAYS comforts them, you can ALWAYS count on God's comfort, directly from His Holy Spirit and also from your brothers and sisters in Christ. Tammy and I are praying for you all EVERY SINGLE DAY and we are absolutely confident that the Lord God Himself is walking you through this and that you can take…
I know this community has wrapped you all in a protective blanket of hope and peaceful prayer. May He continue to lift you all up and encourage you, as your words of your faith journey encourage all of us.
The PTSD is real, it is hard to navigate when your child has been through something serious. I remember holding my breath making sure she would make it through a surgery or even wake up in the morning. It stinks and I wish I had the words to ease your pain. I’m a firm believer in just whispering the name of Jesus. It is amazing how the Spirit gives us the peace that we need so desperately.
Love to you all!
Praying for you all! If you have any questions about diabetes or just want to chat about it, let us know. E.g., if Cooper is struggling with the shots, I had heard that some people use a numbing spray… also, let us know if we can bring by a meal or two!
Keith & I are praying for Cooper and your family; also his medical team.
Keeping you all in our prayers. God is in control even when we just do not understand at all. Take it step by step and lean on God and those who love you all.